The pendulum of emotions swings while you are stuck in NW3 hell. The highs are high but the lows are catastrophic. You drive all day to arrive at a cheap hotel near the trial site. You get up early and grab a bite to eat and something to have in the car for lunch. You get to the trial and register and listen to the pretrial instructions. You have already watched the virtual walk thru numerous times and know what you will be doing. There will be 6 searches. Each one will have 0-3 hides. You will need to go thru each search and get exactly the right number. You feel good, you know this could be that day you get the coveted title.
You go into your first search and your dog is working hard following odor to the source and you know he has found the exact spot and even tho your common sense says let him finish working it out you blurt ALERT! The judge says no. Thus begins the stages of Nosework grief. Sometimes it happens in the first search of the day and other times it happens at the last search and last hide of the day. I have been there and done them all
Shock
Immediately after you hear No, you feel shock. How did this happen! No No NO!!?? Damn, Damn, Damn!! I can’t believe I did that. Oh, this sucks. Then while still in a state of shock you have to get your shit together and keep working. Come on get your bearings, clear your head and keep working, This day may not be a total loss.
Bargaining
On your way out the door all you can think is how 5 minutes earlier you had not yet alerted. You had a perfect day so far. Just 5 minutes back in time and you could do it over. Why oh why is there no time machine. What I would give for a do-over.
Anger
After you get back to your set up, you don’t say a word to anyone. You put your dog away and flop into your chair and say to yourself I hate this sport. Entry fee $180, hotel $140.00, day off work, I drove 7 hours to get here yesterday. It will take me hours to get home. This sucks. Dog sports are supposed to be fun. This is NOT fun. This sucks, it is so not fun. Why do I keep doing this?
Depression & Resignation
This stage usually starts after an hour or so of hanging out alone while while stuck in anger stage and while the trial continues. I am just mediocre. I am not good at this. I just need to accept that this may not be my thing. Why do I keep doing this to myself. I need to learn. I need three NW3 Titles and I have two but I cannot seem to crack the 3rd one. I will never achieve Elite. I am a loser. My dog is great. I do not deserve him. My dog must think I suck. **SIGH** Isn’t this the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? That’s it, I am officially insane! Depression and resignation can last a long time. I have had it last days but usually it is end of day or the next morning that I start to head into acceptance.
Acceptance and Hope
This stage can take hours and sometimes longer to arrive. Usually for me it is about 8 hours. If my false alert was in the morning by the end of the day I am eagerly looking up where the next trial will be held. Can I get the day off, do I need a hotel or can I make the drive by getting up early. I hope I get in!! When is my next class or practice. I need to get some privates in. We are going to do it this time for real!!!
Everyone in this sport has experienced Nosework Grief. I have told people often about the stages and it is actually quite funny when you are not drowning in it, because it is true. It happens to me ALL the time. I guess am just a glutton for punishment.